"Funerals are for the living, not the dead." Words that I've heard my entire life. This was just one of Daddy's  “ rules ”  about funerals. Another insists that family members stay at the cemetery until the casket is lowered, and they begin to cover it with dirt. I’m not sure why Daddy insisted on this for every member of our family who has left us, but he stayed for every one  just as we will stay for his .  Sadly, we were unable to follow his third one, because we couldn’t lay him to rest until 10 days after he was gone. I'm certain he knows it was because of that awful Hurricane Harvey, so I know he   isn’t mad. 

I love you, Daddy. We have shed many tears these last 10 days, but we’ve had lots of laughs  telling  stories  about you  as well.  I’ve been sitting in your chair with Charlie just like you did. He sends his love.  Spanky  misses tucking you in at night,  because  he tucked me in last night while hissing at me.  I still don’t think he knows he’s a cat. 

Don't worry about Mommy. Sheila and I, along with Trevor and Russell, will take care of her. 

P.S. Please give our Meme a kiss and a hug from us. I know she was there waiting for you.

I love you.

-Rhonda

"Funerals are for the living, not the dead." Words that I've heard my entire life. This was just one of Daddy's  “ rules ”  about funerals. Another insists that family members stay at the cemetery until the casket is lowered, and they begin to cover it with dirt. I’m not sure why Daddy insisted on this for every member of our family who has left us, but he stayed for every one  just as we will stay for his .  Sadly, we were unable to follow his third one, because we couldn’t lay him to rest until 10 days after he was gone. I'm certain he knows it was because of that awful Hurricane Harvey, so I know he   isn’t mad. 

I love you, Daddy. We have shed many tears these last 10 days, but we’ve had lots of laughs  telling  stories  about you  as well.  I’ve been sitting in your chair with Charlie just like you did. He sends his love.  Spanky  misses tucking you in at night,  because  he tucked me in last night while hissing at me.  I still don’t think he knows he’s a cat. 

Don't worry about Mommy. Sheila and I, along with Trevor and Russell, will take care of her. 

P.S. Please give our Meme a kiss and a hug from us. I know she was there waiting for you.

I love you.

-Rhonda

June 17, 2001

I think about you all the time. Sometimes when I am going to sleep at night ,  my mind will flash to you, and I am reminded of how much I love you. I see images of you as the strong one – sometimes silent to the conversation, but always listening.

Even though I have never told you, thank you for being a good father. I know of other fathers of friends who didn’t do as good of a job with their children, and I am thankful to you. I never miss an opportunity to tell people how I feel about both my parents, and they are always amazed at how often I mention you and Mom.   However, these are the same people who live in different parts of the country than their parents and could not imagine living near them. I guess we are blessed to live so close to one another, but I could have it no other way. My life and their lives of my own daughters would be lacking something without the foundation that comes from a close family.

Thank you for never striking out in anger at me or Rhonda or Mom. I know there have been times in your life that are difficult and upsetting to remember. Those same things made you the man you are today. You could have taken that path with your family, but you did not. I thank you for that.

Sometimes, we never say the things we feel, so I am writing them. You are the parent I hope to be to my children. Parents, especially fathers, need to be told that their children love them – not just loved like you love a good book or a comfortable pair of shoes, but really, truly, deeply loved. That is the way that I love you.

As I grow older, my friends sometimes speak of childhoods that were less than perfect with terrible, mean, and antagonizing fathers. I grieve for them, because they will never know the true love of a father who would certainly do anything for his family. They will never know the security that comes from having a father who would risk everything for them. I know this feeling, and I take comfort knowing that it will never go away.

You are my father, and I love you.

-Sheila

When Daddy retired from the hardware stores he became somewhat bored and
decided to go into the "goat" business. What an experience it was for him and us!
I loved riding with him to the livestock auctions in West Texas and our overnight
stay at a motel. He always said, “that Rhonda Lynn is boy crazy.” because he knew
that I also liked looking at all of the cowboys! To see my Daddy bidding on the
animals was lots of fun and he was very good at it and played the “game” well.
When he was done he would load the goats, sheep and sometimes pigs on his
fancy bright red double decker trailer that he pulled with his new sky blue dually.
These trips were very special for me with lots of bonding with my Daddy.

Story 2

When I was a sophomore in high school I got very drunk during my lunch hour
with friends. Luckily a friend drove me home and I woke up late at night not
knowing how I got in my bed with my comfy pj's on. (btw… thank you my sweet
Sheila for always looking out for me.) The next morning Daddy was asking details
about my "lunch." He asked and I told him that I drank Thunder Bird wine he
instantly had a huge smile on his face and had to turn his head while trying not to
laugh too loud.
Mom was sitting very close and said, "AJ! Aren't you going to ground her!" So he
did, and I never ever drank Thunderbird wine again!

Story 3

1990 was a tough year for me. I divorced after four years from an abusive man.
Daddy always told me that I shouldn’t marry him and “you don’t cross the railroad
tracks to find your forever love.” I thought he was crazy and went ahead with the
almost 4 year marriage that felt like 40 years. 6 months after my divorce I found
out that I was 6 months pregnant! This was a huge shocker for me! I hated
children and they hate me! I was devastated and somehow someway found a
clinic north of Austin that would abort long-term pregnancies. I made an
appointment. The day before Daddy stopped me in the kitchen with tear filled
eyes and his hands on my shoulders and said, “Please don’t do this.” We can get
through this. We will help you in anyway and every way.” We cried together and
hugged tightly. When Reagan was born, I let Daddy pick her middle name Kelsey.
Reagan Kelsey McGraw. What a beautiful name. As you can imagine, Reagan
Kelsey was the light in my Daddy’s blue eyes. He doted over her and played for
hours with her. We did not turn on the TV for the first year of her life. She was
the only entertainment we needed.
Thank you Daddy for convincing me to keep my baby girl.
Daddy kept his word. A week after Reagan Kelsey turned one, we moved out. It
was really tough being a new single mother especially without having any child
support. My Daddy and Mommy paid so many of my bills. Without my parents, I
could not and would not have survived. Many, many times without warning
Daddy would show up at my front door with bags of groceries. He wanted to
make sure that his first granddaughter and of course me had plenty of food. It
was funny to see all the things he had bought for us. Huge jars of peanut butter
and grape jelly and so much more. Daddy always said, “When you’re full, you’re
full.” But secretly I knew why he did it. His cruel father would eat in front of him
and his Mother, and there was not anymore food in the house. Or his Mother
would make him a sandwich when he got home from school. My Daddy would
ask, “Aren’t you going to eat Momma? She simply said, “I’ve already eaten.” But
Daddy knew that she had not.